Whitey Bulger, RIP

Crime kingpin Whitey Bulger is dead — he was allegedly killed Tuesday morning my Maphia hitmen inside a West Virginia prison where he had only been transferred to on Monday. Reports indicate he was wheelchair-bound, wheeled to a space in prison out of the eye of security cameras, and beaten to death with a lock hidden inside a sock. Other reports say the killers tried to gouge Whitey’s eyes out.