The Hit List: March 6, 2019

  1. Archeologists have discovered an untouched, 1,000-year-old religious site from the Mayan empire, featuring incense burners, statues, and other artifacts virtually untouched or unharmed for the last millennium. The site was discovered underneath Chichen Itza, on the Yucatan Peninsula.
  2. Free porn is soon to be on the outs in the United Kingdom, in efforts to protect children from smut. Pent-up Internet users will have to purchase an authorization card after proving their age, or submit their identification for approval, before streaming on sites like Pornhub or Youporn.
  3. The Continental U.S. is colder than ever. Over the weekend temperatures dipped below negative-50 degrees with wind chills in some spots. The cold wave has brought in hundreds of new record-low temps.
  4. Israel’s Beresheet lunar lander has returned its first images to Earth. Part of the craft appears in the foreground, with Earth behind it; Australia is clearly visible in the snap. Beresheet will orbit Earth at increasing distances for another month before a scheduled landing on the Moon April 11.
  5. Goldman Sachs is relaxing its dress code in efforts to attract a wider, younger workforce. Wall Street dress has always called for suits-and-ties, but in recent years employees in technology have been offered looser dress options to align with the hoodie-and-jeans Silicon Valley stereotype. While loosening the rules, Goldman hasn’t defined what is and isn’t acceptable, either.
  6. Bugatti is out with the most expensive car ever: The La Voiture Noire has sold to an unnamed buyer for $19 million. It is one-of-a-kind and was made in conjunction with the carmaker’s 100th anniversary. CNBC reports, “The 8 liter engine has 16 cylinders and 1500 brake horse power.”
  7. A 17-year-old Wisconsin loaf has been arrested after spiking his stepdad’s energy drinks with cow tranquilizer. His stepfather firsts reported bizarre symptoms months ago, including slurred speech, stumbling, and a drooping face, which healthcare professionals chalked up to stress and overconsumption of energy drinks. But when symptoms returned, he grew suspicious and found syringes of Xylazine  — the cow tranqs — hidden in the barn, and had the energy drinks tested, and the kid was busted. 17 year old Tyler Rabenhorst Malone has been charged with placing foreign objects in edibles and recklessly endangering safety, which are both felonies. His mother says he was expelled from high school a year ago after hacking school emails.