Mary Burke’s non-qualifications qualifications

Opening Remarks

Mary Burke is running for Governor because she knows the people of Wisconsin deserve better. A better economy that creates more good paying jobs. A brighter future and more opportunities for our children through education. And better leadership that brings people together to solve problems.

-Mary Burke, writing about Mary Burke, on

Mary Burke might be a robot.

Her empty website still exemplifies her no-platform platform, offering only an About page and, of course, the opportunity to contribute or sign up for her newsletter. The about page offers nothing that we don’t already know, always referring to the candidate in the third person. It reads like an author bio on the book jacket of a 1970s-era tome discussing the Oxford comma across 422 pages.

Some of it is moronic. For example:

“Despite not speaking a single foreign language, she established sales and distribution operations in seven countries over just three years…”

This reeks of nepotism elevating her to such a position within Trek, not her own merits — which may have necessitated that she speak a foreign language. But what would the alternative have been? A Spock-like mind-meld? Ms. Burke in Lederhosen doing interpretive dance to help the Germans understand a business proposal? Obviously Trek employed interpreters or, as is the case in much of Europe, her foreign colleagues spoke English.

The rest reads like an English 101 exercise, where a student has to turn a bulleted list of qualifications into prose, leaving her lame “get Wisconsin going again” slogan as the front face of her campaign.

Someone must have rang the bat phone at DNC headquarters, as it was reported today that a cadre of Democrat heavy-hitters will begin advising her non-campaign campaign.

In this early phase of the campaign, where she still remains unchallenged in the primary, Ms. Burke has only whispered about her policy positions, none of which show much depth for a Democrat. It certainly is intriguing that she’s touting her experience as a businesswoman, and her eagerness to build an atmosphere in the state that fosters the entrepreneurial spirit, given that Republican governors across the country are celebrating victories on these fronts in terms of job creation and budget turnarounds.

Desperate to squeeze something out of her, The Capital Times reported that in a recent sit-down, she failed to flesh out a vision for her campaign. She may never have to. As the opposition candidate to Gov. Scott Walker, she’ll endear the Party Faithful with the ethereal promises of getting Wisconsin “going again” and “creating jobs” because she’s done it before as a business leader. I’ve written that Mr. Walker should enjoy a comfortable victory, given the importance of economic issues. But with an arsenal of Democrat strategists at her disposal, she may be able to shift the terms of the election.

Quote of the Day

“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”


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About the writer: Nik Nelson is publisher of and Founder/CEO of OpenBox Strategies, where he connects political candidates and small businesses with excellent digital marketing tools and strategies.